The Truth About Grief Module One
Presence, Be Where You Are
Materials
We Are Not Meant to Grieve Alone
Become part of the Womb of Support.
Be a companion and support someone who is hurting. Take three deep heart breaths, feel your own presence in your own body. Now, you can show up for another person fully.
Listen from your heart, not your head. Feel it. (Do not try to fix it, make it a positive, or compare it.) Just listen, fully with presence. Listen for the emotional content being shared. Showing up this way is enough.
Speak from your heart, compassionately, without judgment, criticism, or interruption. This includes touching the other person while they are expressing their emotions. Even a touch on the arm can be a form of interruption. Remember, we can only imagine based on our own experiences how the other person might be feeling. We can never ever know exactly what another person is feeling. We can reflect back the emotions being expressed. We can offer a hug when they are complete.
What and who create your Womb of Support?
What do you say when someone is grieving?
We often stumble and stress over the words we might offer a friend or loved one who is experiencing loss. Sometimes, we are so worried about what to say and how to say it, we say nothing.
These are some suggestions.
“I cannot even imagine the pain you are feeling.”
“I imagine you are feeling a lot of confusion after such a tremendous loss.”
“I am here.”
Presence is Enough.
Practices
Journaling: REVIEWING, HONORING, AND VALUING OUR LOSSES
1) Review the Loss History Questionnaire that you completed last week. Choose one of those categories you marked, and identify a specific instance. Consider what others may have said that was supportive and what was unhelpful. Make notes in your journal about these reflections.
2) Name your systems of belonging (belief, family, church, community, etc.)
3) Consider the practices from the training so far and your own practices that bring you to presence. Make notes about what you see and feel with each practice. How do you experience Presence? How do you recognize when you are not present?
RITUAL ACTION: CREATE AN ALTAR OR INTENTIONAL SPACE
Pick a particular location inside your home or outside near your home where you can easily spend time uninterrupted. Make a commitment to do your training work and practices in this particular space most of the time. It is not necessary to always be in this exact location, so please be compassionate and flexible with yourself as you do this work. However, the time you spend in a particular space will deepen the ritual space for doing this work. You may want to talk to the other members of your household about the space you choose so that there is an understanding. You may include whatever precious items you would like in this space (stones, candle, or other meaningful objects). The arrangement of this space or altar is not stagnant, and is meant to change through your process. You may decide to add items to your altar along the way that reflect the work you are unfolding. If it feels comfortable to you, take a photo of your altar to share with our group at the next live session.